What can I say...,

I've found love again....Never thought I would hear someone tell me they loved me or feel love again. After being alone for two years, it feels nice to have someone again. We work for the same place, just different areas. He's a bit older than me, which is different, but different in a good way. I got to meet ALL of his kids, but one..he was in West Virginia, at his one son's wedding November 5. His family likes me, which is nice. Though, I thought my ex husband's family hated me...nope, they hate the home wrecking whore and miss me.........lol I'm also going to be moving into his place, which I'm excited about, but also a bit scared. Thanksgiving was awesome and had my youngest with me for the week. Looking forward to Christmas...haven't had a real Christmas in years and this will be awesome. Just an update of sorts. TTFN, Justine

Hurricane Mathew..

Yep.....Survived..........lol My roommate and I rode it ous like champs. Really all we did was sleep and after thinking about it, I can survive anything. THe last two years of my life have been crazy and I survived all that. I lost a day of pay, but was able to help with cleanup at work as well. We have three people who have lost everything and we as a family are coming together to help them as best we can. A community like St.Augustine is like nothing I have seen or felt before. So many neighbors helping each other and I have never seen that before. Even when Charlie came through in 2004 and devastated Polk County, there wasn't a sense of community and family like St.Augustine. Anyways, yesterday was my first full day of work and it was exhausting, but it was a full day of pay. lol I do love where I live and can't imagine living anywhere else. Thank you for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

Got To Talking..

With my friend and roommate about relationships and getting intimate with someone. I've only been with one other person besides my husband and that was because I was "dating" this person. Basically for 14 years, I only knew my husband at the time and thought I was ready to move on and be with someone else. HUGE mistake..the sex was awful and lets face it, I wasn't ready. Bad sex ruins everything....it just does. If your heart isn't in it, it is going to be awkward. The connection my husband and I use to share was amazing and to have that was the best feeling and it scares me to have that again. Think it would scare anyone who was ever in love once before. Like I said before, I'm not afraid of love, just afraid of losing myself and being the person I use to be. Sad, unhappy, 100lbs heavier, and depressed. I'n not the same person I was 2 years ago, I'm not even the same person I was in Colorado, honestly. Anyways, thanks for reading my ramblings and I think I'm finally no longer stuck in my head.......lol TTFN, Justine

Another Year Older...

It was sort of my birthday yesterday...............lol I had the most amazing day with my friend and roommate. Though I sat in on his awkward meeting with this girl he met, really awkward, but what are friends for...........lol After, I stopped and saw my friends and colleges at work, rode the trolley, met up with my friend and we had some fun. Tried something for the first time and it was amazing. Had a couple beers, went to the candy store, and then to another shop and finally home. We both passed out, but had the best day. Growing up my birthdays where't that great, but I always made sure my kids had amazing birthdays and even my ex husband, I made sure their day was special. Anyways, still have today off (Saturday) and going to spend it cleaning and getting the apartment situated. I still can't believe what an amazing day I had and got to spend it with my good friend. TTFN and thanks for reading my ramblings. Justine

Update about my journey...lol

Since the last time I blogged I've lost my glasses and now I bet you wonder,"How is she typing this??" Well since you asked, I have the keyboard pretty much memorized and yeah, no glasses. Oh and to totally top this all off, I twisted my ankle and broke two toes. I walked to and from work, total miles are 4.4 round trip. Not a bad walk at all and helps with my weight. But because I have astigmatism, my depth perception is off and my foot found the one hole I never step in. Then I kicked my roommates bag not once, but twice and the second time broke two toes.......So yeah, that was two weeks ago. My ankle has its good and bad days, but my toes are always sore. I work retail, so it really sucks at times......lol Also, I went to my manager party and got drunk. Something I never do and it was fun and we all had a blast. I love my job and I've met some great people and also some friends. I'm still keeping myself at a distance, but they are good people. My son hasn't visited yet, but we had a storm roll through, but he will be here in a couple weeks and that will be awesome. So that's what has been going on. I still have some thoughts going through my head about some things, but I will put those out soon enough. Thanks for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

So This Happened..

On my way to work...I had a guy stop me and tell me that I was the prettiest thing he has seen since he's been in Saint Augustine and he was going back to Baltimore Maryland with a smile on his face. He was a sweet guy and it was nice to get a compliment. I looked like what we call a hot southern mess.........lol But, I got to thinking. Feminism has ruined the ability for men to compliment women. Think about it..men can't tell a woman she looks nice with out a woman thinking a guy just want sex out of the whole thing. Yes, there are the men who are just looking for sex or other things, but there are the genuine men who are just wanting to tell women they look nice. I'm personally not use to getting hit on since my weight loss. Ok, so I'm down nearly 100lbs since 2014 because of stress and hearing a guy hoot or holler is nice for once........lol I walk almost 2 miles to work and usually a sweaty mess when I get there, so I clean up, but still is hoot or holler is a compliment. Ok, thanks for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

Family..Hear Me Out..

My family...I'm really trying to think of a way to describe them or how they use to be. My mother is and will always be an addict. She self medicates for her manic depressant bi polar, she was never fit to be a mother and that's ok. Some people are just not cut out to be parents. I have no clue who my real father is. You put all 5 of us together and only my two sisters look alike, I look like no one. My grandmother was just an unhappy evil woman. Seriously, I have nothing nice to say about her and I know she's still unhappy dead. My grandfather was the glue that held everyone together. My family was better because of him and when he died, their true colors came out. My aunt is the trouble maker and another unhappy person in life and one day in death as well. She started all the trouble in our family and her kids are no better. My brother is also an addict and has been since he was like 12. I remember having at least 2 interventions for him and that did nothing. My grandparents did him no favors babying him the way they did. He can't take care of himself and can't be alone. My sister is my rock and my best friend. We're 16 months apart and I stayed with her when I was in Colorado. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her. My sons are my everything and I'd love to have us back in one home, but I don't see that happening. My oldest needs to be on his own, he needs to learn to be alone and to be an adult. My grandmother babied him the same way she did my brother. My youngest I was truly blessed with. He gets it all and sees it all, he has a promising future and a great head on his shoulders. I use to worry about what my family thought of me and how they viewed me. I use to worry what they would say if I ever got divorced or something happened to one of my kids. I don't care what anyone has to say anymore. It's non of their business. It's my life and their miserable and I'm not. If I ever get remarried, I don't have to worry about family gossip or drama. I have no real family and no one to answer to. I don't have to worry about someone not liking how I do my wedding or my wedding dress. None of this makes me sad, it makes me sad for the people who have to go threw all this drama. Watch Say Yes To The Dress and you will see. Seriously, it's sad. Thanks again for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

So Far..

I am on my forth day of work and actually have to head out soon............lol I love my job, it's super fun and easy and work with a fellow pirate from my friends crew, so that's cool. Managers already like me, so that's even more awesome......lol I finally feel like Saint Augustine is home to me. I loved Colorado and my friends at King Soopers, but this is different and Collin is coming to visit Labor Day weekend!! On another note, I can honestly say that I don't want a serious relationship any time soon. Maybe date someone or whatever, but nothing serious. I know we can't help help how our hearts are and who and how we fall in love, but for now, I am not looking for love at all. However, I am looking for fun..........lol I had fun last night with my friends pirate crew. He was celebrating his 40th birthday and there were maybe 30 of us or so and omgoodness.....lol Did you know kids behave when pirates are sitting near by?? lol THe crew does a lot of charity work and scaring kids is all in the fun and the kids enjoy it as well. I am looking forward to dressing up as a steampunk pirate wench. lol Anyways, thank you to who ever is reading my ramblings.....lol TTFN, Justine

Quote

Lost In My Own Thoughts....

With the new moon tomorrow and also dealing with some PMS, I have been lost in my own thoughts. And what are my thoughts you ask?? Relationships..Yep, sucks..lol All my relationships have been in some way, bad. Except for my marriage. It wasn't totally awful and he just wanted to control how I looked. I am not going to use real names, one I can because he's dead now. Erik was a bastard of a human. He was an addict and also my abuser. When he found out I was pregnant he wanted me to have a abortion. So did my grandmother and yet I defied them and had my son anyways. One night in particular he was high and I tried to leave. He yanked me by the arm, dislocated my shoulder and broke my nose. I even went into early labor, which they were able to stop. I wound up leaving him and denied him from seeing his son (which he always denied). Him and some people we knew robbed my house and torched it. Afterwards he stalked me for 4 years, until I left Ohio for Florida. My other ex bf was verbally and also physically abusive as well. We were together for 4 years and he was an ass to me and my son. He was emotionally dependent on me and was also clingy. He always had to know what I was doing, who I was with, my work schedule, and if I was with my family, he had to know if there was any guys there. He also wanted me to dress like his mom, yeah, creepy. At one point I found out I was pregnant and he hit me so hard I wound up miscarrying. He always said he never wanted kids and went as far as to say there was no way possible it was his. When I finally moved to Florida I felt like I could finally breathe. My husband (we're still married), isn't a total creep. He has his moments, but he's a good father. He just wanted to control how I looked and my friends. He didn't like I had friends, mainly because he doesn't have any, except his strange family. I on the other hand always make friends. He also controlled the money, I was a stay at home mom for most our marriage, when I wasn't working. He's also emotionally constipated, he doesn't express any of his emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve (I haven't always..lol) and have no issues tell you how I feel. He couldn't express how he was feeling to me, but talking to Dana he had no issues and then they started screwing around behind everyone back. Then there's the 300lb asshole James Ryan Boyd (yeah, full real name). I felt bad for him, his "mom" is a bitch. Totally put him down, called him names, belittled him, ect..Oh and she's supposed to be "Christian". She's a horrible woman and I felt bad for him. I was never in love with him and I know this now. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. The way he made me feel and the things he said to me, ripped me apart. Funny thing is how he would never do it around my kids, they would've killed him. His friend has no clue how he was towards me either. He was also trying to hook up with past ex gf's as well. He is a total piece of shit and also cheated on me as well. So yeah, a look into my past relationships. LOL I had some minor relationships based purely on sex, not a bad thing. lol But, I do know one thing. Falling in love again is scary as hell to me. The "L" word is scarier and don't get me started on the "M" word. I do know one thing, I feel bad for who ever wants to be with me. I have a friend who will hurt the person who hurts me. So yeah, with PMS and a serious lack of sleep does this to me..........lol I know I'm not shattered, just a little crack and broken, but I am repairable. Thanks for reading this. TTFN, Justine

Two Years Ago Today..

My grandmother passed away. I guess I was supposed to be sad, she raised me and all that, but she was a miserable woman. She was a energy vampire that sucked all happiness and anything good out of people. She has been haunting my dreams for about 5 days or so. I can't wake myself from these dreams and I can feel the anger she has. I refuse to talk to her or acknowledge her. She never had a kind word to say, so I dread when she would even say to me. She once told my friend that getting married and having another kid was the worst thing I could've done with my life. That's just a glimpse of the person she was in life. When my grandfather passed away, it was awful. He was a good guy and his funeral was HUGE. People who loved him showed up. At my grandmother's funeral, it was just blah looking. Plain casket, barely any flowers, or even people that knew her. I made it my mission to not have a funeral like hers. I want people who genuinely love me to show up. Not to sound morbid, but I also hope a ton of people show up as well. LOL (I actually want to be cremated and my kids get to do as they wish with my ashes. I know they will do me proud.) Anyways, my grandmother is as unhappy in death as she was in life. I don't understand the hatred some people still hold onto in death. Hopefully she will now leave me alone and pester my addict brother. (Another story.) Thanks for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

Update Of Sorts...

It has been a little over a month since I have been in Florida and I still feel awesome. I get to talk to Collin all the time, I've talked with Bobby as well. Bobby is doing his own thing, he is 21 after all. Collin is 15 and making Eagle Scout next year. I haven't been able to see him, he been busy with camps for scouts. I have been busy as well, I FINALLY landed a job!! It's called Gator Bob's and it's in the heart of Saint Augustine!! I know I've passed my drug test and also my background check as well, not sure when I start, but soon..very soon. I've also come to the conclusion I am not ready for a relationship of any kind. The thought of one gives me a panic attack. I am also not ready to "hook" up or anything, just going to continue to do my own thing and be happy. I found a quote and really like it. Thanks for reading my random ramble. TTFN, Justine

My Bubble...Let Me Explain..lol

I have a nice comfy bubble I live in. It's full of all the things I like, actually love. lol Mac and cheese, chicken fingers, burgers, pizza (no olives), just all the things I like and nothing else. Me and my friends were at Saint George street in Saint Augustine and we looked around the shops and just had fun. I was traumatized briefly by my friend Jon, but that was pay back for a comment I said the day before. (We banter a lot). Anyways, we stopped in at a local bar they like. The beer I tried was yummy, I don't drink often with my family history of addiction, but the occasional drink is ok. We ordered food and to my surprise, NO FRIES!! I mean WTF!! How do you not have fries with a burger?? I had cole slaw which was too sweet for me, but still good. My friends gf turned to me and said," we are here for your good. We are going to burst your bubble and get you out of your comfort zone." Yep, their mission is to get me to try scary foods (what I think are scary), beer, hummus, ect.. I like a challenge and I want to be more carefree, but I like my bubble. lol I am ready for changes in my life, I am willing to welcome them, just be gentle. lol Ok, my randomness..lol Thanks for reading. TTFN, Justine

Regrets..

Sometimes we do things in life we wish we never did, like steal a boyfriend of your best friend or eat the last brownie. Then there's darker stuff that some people have done, like drinking while driving and worse. I don't have any such regrets, really I don't have any regrets. I don't regret the things that I have done in my life, I wish I could have done them differently, but we all have things we wish we could have done differently. I know I have certain people I wish I never knew, but then that means my oldest wouldn't be here. I believe things always happen for a reason. Good or bad, they happen and we can't control that. I know there are somethings I wish never happened to me, but then I wouldn't be the person I am today. I've lived a rough life, one that isn't pretty, but has also taught me certain things in life. It's also given me a thick skin and the ability to laugh at myself and the things I can't control. Growing up the way I have also taught me the value of family and how my sister is the most important person to me, other than my two sons. I can say that I don't have any regrets. Things I have done , I have made peace with and also not ashamed of any of them. It's helped make me who I am. OK, just my little ramble. Hope you enjoyed. lol TTFN, Justine

Reading Is Great therapy..

It is for me, I'm dyslexic, so reading actually helps with my dyslexia. The way I see words or numbers, it isn't the same way everyone else sees them, though I can spell like a champion, even though half the time I think they're spelled wrong. LOL I can joke around about my dyslexia, but I was bullied and tormented as a kid. I was considered learning disabled, yeah, have that title as a kid and see how you are treated. Not only in school, but at home. There wasn't a thing I wasn't called, mostly by my grandmother and siblings and that had an effect on me. I grew a tough skin and I fought, a lot. I was always in a fight of some sort, always in the office, always in trouble for sticking up for myself, something I will never regret. Reading also helped me conquer my own narcissistic traits I had. I didn't know I had any until my ex husband pointed them out. (Yes, he's the cat calling the kettle black.) I was a bit negative at times, angry, and had some serious control issues. I learned to let things go, like my family. My family is a whole subject of their own, I only have nice things to say about my sister and other family and friends who have since passed on. I have nothing nice to say about my grandmother, she wasn't a kind person and probably had some mental issues of her own. But with the books I've read, they have opened some issues I still have. Mostly with the fear of dating and falling in love. Terrifying to say the least. Also having to deal with some stuff that happened that you never told anyone, except a handful of friends. I haven't thought of that stuff in a long time, thanks to my latest book. It isn't a bad thing that I have to think about it, I have to deal with it eventually and have to talk about it, I just don't like to. I dealt with things my own way my whole life and I have things from my childhood I hope I never have to remember. But, if I want to one day be in a relationship, this stuff needs to be brought up. I have a survivor of these traumas and need not be afraid of being judged for what has happened to me. Yeah, a little deep this time, I get that way. Thanks for reading. TTFN, Justine

Food..

Never gave it much thought to what I liked. I always cooked for myself and my family and what they like. My ex was all meat and potatoes, no veggies unless it was corn or green beans, seriously. Until he started cheating on me, he never tried other veggies or anything. So, I was asked what my favorite food is and I couldn't think of anything. I don't really know what I like. I know what scares me, hummus being one of them. LOL I also have food allergies, so that limits some things. I want to be that person who can eat anything, but I can't. Onions being the main reason, I'm allergic to them. Shellfish will kill me, so puts a damper on that. I love my veggies and my meat, but really don't know what I like. I can cook just about anything and my baking skills are AWESOME!! LOL I do believe cookies and cupcakes are in their own food group, so I do like my sweets. lol I love barbecue, so I do like some things. And I enjoy a good pizza and burgers. LOL This whole getting to know myself thing is going to be interesting and I'm scared, but it will be fun and adventurous. This is my short ramble for the day, thanks for reading. TTFN, Justine

Another fear to conquer..

Being in the ocean...lol Hear me out first and then you can judge, if you want. LOL I grew up in a fishing town in Port Clinton, Ohio in the summers. I was fishing and swimming before I was walking. Lake Erie really doesn't have anything that will eat you. You may get attacked by a perch, but that's it. We don't even have venomous snakes in Ohio. The deer are over populated because they have no real enemies in Ohio, so swimming in the ocean for the first time was terrifying. The only time I am ever clingy is when I'm in the water and something touches my foot or leg. lol I want to be able to relax in the ocean and not feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I've swam in the Gulf and love it, it's much calmer. But the ocean isn't so calm, though it has its moments where it is and I've been in that water. I've also been in the water when the dolphins are out and the manatees too. But, I want to be able to relax and just be like everyone else in the water and not worry if something is going to chomp on me. lol I also want to be able to be in a small boat in the ocean and not freak out, though that one is way down the line. I want to learn to canoe and kayak and not freak out. I have panic attacks around water at times, but not in Lake Erie. I grew up in that lake and never once freaked out, but I feel so small compared to the ocean and the gulf and I think about all the things with teeth that will bite and eat me. Then there are the things that bump into you. I usually leave the water and sit on the shore. lol Yep, I freak out that bad. Being in Saint Augustine, is awesome and finally going back into the water is a terrifying thought. Almost as terrifying as looking at myself in a mirror trying on shorts. Yes, something I will also conquer and I will also buy a bathing suit as well. lol Baby steps, teeny tiny infant steps. LOL Thanks for reading my ramblings. TTFN, Justine

Dreams...

We all have dreams. Mine is to one day have my own bakery or food truck. My youngest wants to be a paleontologist, so we all have dreams. When we sleep, we dream. We may dream we are flying, being chased by something or someone, or it could be a silly dream about Smurfs. Yes, I had a dream I was a Smurf when I was younger. LOL There are also nightmares and I've had a bunch of those since being back in Florida. I can't explain why and I can usually control my dreams and force myself to wake up, but not with these nightmares. They wont let me and it terrifies and also fascinates me as well. My family also has premonition dreams. Me, my sister, my youngest, and even my grandmother use to have these dreams. We dreamed about our old house in Ohio getting broken into and also dreamed about our house getting set on fire. I personally dreamed about a co workers son passing away when I worked at Tony Roma's. What we have is a blessing and at times a curse at times. It's nice to be able to see something before it happens, but you don't know when or how and you really have a hard time talking to anyone about what happened. I was never able to explain anything to my ex husband, he wasn't a believer in anything. My grandmother just wouldn't listen, but my sister understood. With the way my family tree runs, I was curious if my sons would dream like me. My oldest, not so much, thanks to my grandmother. But, my youngest..he's got the gift like me. It still freaks him out and me too, but it's supposed to, well I think it's supposed to. I don't sleep as well as I use to, I don't know why. I've battled insomnia most my adult and teen life. There aren't too many old horror movies I haven't seen or other movies. When I do sleep, I remember my dreams and I don't want to go back to sleep. Sometimes they're good dreams and then I have my nightmares I can't wake myself up from, those are the ones that frighten me and then I'm awake. Thanks for reading my ramblings. LOL TTFN, Justine

Fears..

We all have a fear of some kind. Snakes, clowns, and heights are on the top of my list and not in that order. LOL I want to conquer all of them, even the clown one. I want to be able to view clowns in a non terrifying, child eating way. lol But I have other fears and these are legit fears and maybe one day, who knows. The fear of hearing I LOVE YOU is terrifying to me and also WILL YOU MARRY ME. The fear of total commitment to someone and being vulnerable is terrifying. The thought of being in a relationship is also terrifying to me. These fear stem from my marriage and also my last relationship. I know my kids would love to see me married again, but I'm ok with never being married. I'm also perfectly happy being single, actually, I'm just happy. I love myself, not many people can say that and I'm content on the way I look. I will never change for anyone again. Love is terrifying in the fact that it opens your heart to the possibility of having it broken again. I've had my heart broken its fair share and I'm not saying I will never be in love again, just the thought terrifies me. I always like to think on the positive side of life and think there is someone out there who also understands and is my soulmate, but we will see. I want to conquer my real fears first and work on the not so rational fears. LOL TTFN, Justine

Proud ish day...lol

During my marriage I was pretty isolated from groups of people. This was in part to my ex husband doesn't like people and this led to some anxiety problems with myself. When I was younger I was all about being out, being with friends, going to parties, ect.. Anymore it's more like,"Ewww..there's people outside." lol Working really helped and felt good to be around people, to have contact with adults. When I was laid off from Trade Secret, I regressed back into my married role. Back to the full time mom and wife. Back to a handful of friends. Then scouts happened and again, human adult contact and people who understood parental and marital life. And then my ex cheated on me and everything went to hell. Self esteem was crushed, self confidence was crushed, I was basically crushed. My next relationship was horrible and emotionally abusive. Then Colorado happened and I felt amazing. My friend in St. Auggy is really trying to help and today, was an improvement. LOL My friend is a pirate, him and his friend dress as pirates for charity and they are an amazing group. I'm still a bit stand off ish, but I'm warming up. I did get sick earlier, but that's part of my anxiety at times as well. LOL But, I did some interacting and that is a HUGE step. Still have my list in my head and not finished with it and my anxiety is on that list. It's something that is slightly holding me back, but I will conquer this beast. TTFN, Justine

Why it sucks to be me sometimes...

I'm empathetic, which means I feel everything. When I'm near someone I can tell the day they are having. I can feel if someone is in a good mood or if someone isn't having such a great day. Comes in handy when you are working retail, you basically know how to approach someone. My ex husband (actually we're still married, but papers have been filed on his part) told me at one point that I ran from my feeling and never knew how to express them. (He's the cat calling the kettle black, he's what I like to call emotionally constipated.) Yes, there was a time I had to shut down all emotions and had to feel nothing. It's a defense I like to use and I can switch it on and off. Our marriage had some good times and bad, but towards the end it got really bad. But the more and more I think about it, it wasn't all that great. My ex was controlling and also mentally wore me down. He tried to change me into what he thought a "perfect" wife looked like. He would complain if I wore makeup, if I colored my hair, if I cut my hair, or even if I so much as wore something he just didn't like. I put up with all of it and I forgot who I was. I even stopped practicing my craft, I'm Gypsy. I stopped believing in myself and my magic. I stopped being who I use to be and tried to be what he wanted. I stopped wearing makeup, stopped coloring my hair, and even went as far as to wear what he wanted me to wear. I use to have a ton of polo shirts, which I still can't believe I wore. It wasn't until I started working at the salon again that I started to feel like ME again. Changing my hair, doing my hair all nice, and even wearing makeup. I made some friends and even started getting tattooed by my now best friend. My ex didn't like that I had friends, that I really didn't need him for some things. Me having a social life, he didn't like. He's very introverted and really has no friends. That's not me..lol I'm a Libra, the zodiacs social butterfly. LOL Being in Colorado, I found myself again. I made some amazing friends, had a full time job, and was able to start my craft again. I feel amazing and never going to let anyone break me down mentally or emotionally again. I'm never going to let anyone control me either. If they can't like me for who I am and can't see past my tattoos, oh well, I don't need them in my life. I believe there's true soul mates for everyone and sometimes, we're lucky to just have one and sometimes we get an opportunity to have two in a lifetime. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart but, who isn't?? TTFN, Justine

This is ME...

Here I am, this is me Justine.

My List..

This spoke to me on so many levels and this is what I'm going to do. But, I'm going to share some of my goals. 1. Try on and buy, shorts and a bathing suit. I am down almost 100lbs since 2013 and I still have some hangups about how I look. I ooze self confidence and then I see myself in the mirror and still see the heavy unhappy person I was. Hey, we all have our moments and this is one I need to conquer. 2. Snakes and heights and not at the same time............lol Snakes terrify me and heights..I'm just afraid of falling to my death. These to have paralyzed before and it's something I want to overcome. 3. Hummus....LMAO It looks terrifying and gross. I'm not one to try new and unique foods, I like what I like. LOL This one is another to knock off my list. Ok, the rest I'm not going to share until I accomplished them. Lets just say, I have a long list in my head. Some are humorous and some are serious, but they all need to be accomplished at some point in my life. TTFN!!

The New ish Me...lol

The past 4 years actually I have been through the ringer. Both medically, mentally, and emotionally. Medically I am doing awesome. I was on high blood pressure meds and also stuff for my asthma, which are all under control. Mentally...Well, I'm still crazy...lol Seriously, mentally I'm doing awesome. Emotionally...doing awesome and just keep getting more and more awesome." On this blog you will learn about me and my life and my "struggles". I am a newer version of myself. I am more mentally and emotionally awake.